The Queen of Embarrassment

Oh. My. Gosh! I embarrass myself on pretty much a daily basis. I think it has to do with my bright personality and the fact that my thought-to-mouth filter is a very weak one (sadly, it always has been) – things slip out! In the moment, I tend to just bubble over with excitement and burst with words only to realize later that I said too much, or said the wrong thing or maybe I wrote an email that came out wrong. Oh the messes that I have had to clean up!

I’ve learned: Embarrassment is no biggie if you don’t act like it’s a biggie.

In light of all of my recent shenanigans, I thought I would share some of the steps that I go through in my head so that I can move on and feel better. Usually (read: always!) it is built up to be a much bigger deal in my silly brain than it actually is. I constantly remind myself of that and then try to focus on something fun and positive or go for a workout. That always clears my head of mumbo-jumbo!

Steps for Getting Over It:

>>>Forgive yourself. Right away, no matter what it is that you feel embarrassed about, say “I forgive myself” out loud. This is important because many times we hold these things that we do that simply make us human against ourselves which creates tension and leads to long-term regrets (big or small). So remind yourself that you are an awesome human, we all make mistakes and that it really was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. People forget and move on in seconds.

>>> Laugh about it. Chances are that it was something that no one else noticed. We tend to work things up in our heads, so just remember that no one else really cares and laugh about it. Try and spin it so that you see the situation from a humourous point-of-view. This is likely how everyone else saw it. This step might take some time to complete – it can be hard to see “embarassing” things we do as funny. But when the light switches in my head, I feel so much better about it.

>>> Don’t Avoid the Situation. In a lot of cases, you may feel the need to apologize for something you said or wrote or did and you likely never want to do it. Sometimes we want to avoid those situations because they can be difficult. The best thing to do is to allow yourself to cool down a bit and then get it over with. Make that call, you can do it! If you are embarrassed about a mistake – own up to it. If it was something you did, consider a humourous apology. You will feel so much better after you see that the world will keep turning and people will quickly move on.

>>> Forgive Yourself (again). Self-blame can linger. Kick it out of your head again!

>>> Relax, you are beautiful! Now it’s time to focus on something positive and let this situation go. This likely isn’t the first or last time that you will be embarrassed, so take what you learned from it and grow and move on. It’s in the past and you are better now because it happened :) You are who you are.

I spent so many years getting embarrassed about every little thing. I am getting much better but still can be overly sensitive. However, along the way I have learned that I am the only person in those situations who is affected or even notices anything is off. I am hanging onto this feeling that doesn’t exist from the other person’s perspective. Embarrassment is just like anger: the other person doesn’t suffer, I do. Remembering this does help. Plus, I like who I am and if I make a few little dorky slip-ups then so be it. That’s just me.

Do you embarrass easily? What tips do you have to share to get over it? Let’s hear it! xo

Why not stop by the Upon Wild Stars facebook page for more great tips and ideas not shown on the site? See you there!

Photos: Liz Wolters and here